The Law

Herewith, the promised enlightenment on the Law of Unintended Consequences. It’s a “Law” like Murphy’s Law, rather than a real law like Boyle’s Law. (Extra credit for anyone who can quote the latter without reference to Wikipedia or Google. Shockingly, I managed to dredge up an acceptable approximation.) While there’s no official statement of the Law of Unintended Consequences—let’s just call it The Law—the function of it is this: For every action taken, there will be consequences, both the expected consequences and the unexpected ones which will be, more often than not, negative in nature.

Take as an example Kudzu, also known as the vine that ate the South. It was first introduced to the U.S. from the Orient in the last part of the nineteenth century. Because it was hardy, with a strong and extensive root system, the thought was that it would prevent soil erosion. Besides, it was a nice looking vine that could be used decoratively. Eventually someone with the best of intentions thought it would be worth a try to prevent the erosion of the soil beside highway interchanges and on medians. And it didn’t even need mowing. Bonus!

Enter The Law. It certainly did the intended job, but something else happened. Kudzu loved the climate in the Southeast U.S. And just like Topsy, it just growed. And growed. And growed. Anyone who has driven the highways and byways of the region has seen it, covering anything that doesn’t move for more than 15 minutes in a row. And nothing seems to deter it, although we can be sure that when something is found to fight the Kudzu, it will also cause birth defects, or black holes. It’s The Law.

I was reminded to write about this by a recent article from the Associated Press under the lead “Asian carp a hungry threat.” “[They] can reach 4 feet long and weigh up to 100 pounds.” Not surprisingly, they are starving out the native varieties of fish and are threatening Great Lakes fishing. They also tend to leap out of the water in response to motors, turning themselves into 100-pound unguided missiles ready to KO the unwary boater.

But from whence did the Asian carp come, and why? From Asia, of course, “to cleanse fish ponds and sewage lagoons” in—you guessed it—the deep South. From there into the Mississippi and who knows… Tomorrow the Great Lakes, and then on to Canada! It’s The Law again.

One more example that is—it seems to me—a whole lot less humorous. It’s the military version of The Law, also known euphemistically as Collateral Damages. This is what it means in English: People we didn’t mean to kill, but did anyway.