Read This Right Away!!!

Well, I hope that got your attention, because if you're not reading this before 5:59 PM on Saturday, May 21, you're probably not going to get to it at all. Why? Because that's when the world is ending! Don't you watch the news?

That's right, there is a sizable chunk of the world's population that believes we're all on our last mile. Unless you're one of the saved who expect to be taken up to heaven in The Rapture. The rest of us are done for. Wouldn't you know that right up to the end of the world there are going to be the haves and the have-nots. Doesn't seem quite fair, does it?

I have a couple of questions. First, why is this killer earthquake starting in New Zealand? They seem like pretty nice people to me. Here's another: Since God created the Earth and the rest of the universe at the same time, is he now destroying the whole ball of wax or is it just Earth? And if so, why are we getting the short end of the stick?

Here are a couple of my own personal tips to enjoy The End. First of all, don't feel sorry for anyone who died today, like Randy Savage, the wrestler; they're only being short-changed by 24 hours or so. Whatever else you do, don't pay any bills today. Now that I think of it, tomorrow (before 5:59PM of course) would be a great day to bounce a few checks. After all, they won't bounce until Monday... Or forever. If you want to feel sorry for someone, give a thought to those folks who believed this hoohah so thoroughly that they started bouncing checks last month. They're going to be in more trouble if the world doesn't end than if it does.

And finally, spare a little sympathy for the misguided preacher who has been promoting this whole thing. This is at least his second such prediction of Armageddon. The last one suffered from a "miscalculation," which he's corrected for tomorrow. So have an extra glass of wine tonight and don't worry about pissing anyone off. As for me, I'll be sitting at the keyboard tomorrow evening, writing my next installment. Hope I'm right!